Rest & Retreat
This past weekend I was invited to attend Newark Center for Meditative Culture's first-ever BIPOC retreat at Pumpkin Hollow Farms in Craryville, New York. The “Between Heaven and Earth” retreat was hosted in honor of NCMC’s 5th anniversary and sponsored through a grant from the Kataly Foundation. I've been having a hard time with my Lupus, thyroid, and fibroids since May. I was hospitalized and sent to a slew of specialists to help restore my health. I still have a long road to recovery ahead of me, and I was hoping to get some rest on this retreat.
I'm grateful that I received a scholarship to cover my room, board, and meals, and that I was able to pay a modest upgrade fee for a single room. I volunteered to carpool and received a small transportation contribution to assist with gas and tolls. We departed from NCMC headquarters in downtown Newark three hours earlier than initially confirmed. The organizers’ reasoning for the early departure was to avoid the traffic stress from the Juneteenth and Father’s Day holiday weekend. However, they failed to take into account people's work schedules and childcare arrangements when making this last-minute decision. I, unfortunately, felt the stress of the rush to adjust my schedule and needed to bring work with me.
During the two and half hour drive, I was hyperaware of my ancestors that escaped on foot through the winding roads of upstate New York, many of whom did not feel safe to stop and continued to Canada through the Under Ground Rail Road. When we arrived, I felt at peace and solo toured the serene grounds and stopped in the meditation center to help alleviate my sciatic and back pain that arose during the road trip. The meditation center was my one safe space and where I spent the majority of time during my short stay. Unfortunately, the room accommodations were abysmal. The sleeping quarters were dirty and dated. There were stains on the walls in both the bedroom and bathrooms. The bathrooms also smelled like mold and mildew. I heard multiple people joke that the single rooms were “motels" and mentioned that the shared rooms lacked bug barriers.
The food options did not fair far better. There were insufficient healthy plant-based food options. Dinner that night was mac and cheese with crumbled potato chips on top, tofu "chicken" nuggets, BPA canned baked and green beans, and green salad. Part of the problem was that I had expectations based on previous retreats I’ve attended in Southern Illinois, Sedona, Arizona, and Xinalani Resort Mexico. A spread of multiple fruits, veggies, plant-based protein, and whole grains at every meal would have made a huge difference. I opted out of orientation that evening and decided to shower, sage, and set up my room. I didn't sleep at all that night. The single rooms were dorm-style hot, muggy, and lacked natural light. The rooms and linens also carried a stench. The small windows did not provide sufficient fresh air.
I waited until the safety of sunrise to leave my room and revisit the meditation center. I did restorative yoga until 6 am to self-soothe and supplement my lack of sleep. I then joined Shaka George’s Qi Gong workshop and enjoyed the session before breakfast. The morning conversations were still a buzz carried over from the extended orientation and the exclusion of non-binary people from the agenda. I cannot say that I was surprised when I saw the “Sista” and “Brotha" circles on the workshop agenda. The planning committee consisted of hetero cisgender folks over the age of forty. Someone from the Queer community could have present on the planning committee to help alleviate that Pride month misstep.
Two other orientation oversights were the topics of no locked doors and seva service. Pumpkin Hollow Farms has a no-locked door policy, which is inviting in common areas, but preposterous in people's private rooms. Pumpkin Hollow Farms is owned and operated by Caucasians that clearly didn’t take into consideration the recent trauma of the racially motivated mass shooting in Buffalo. The NCMC retreat was widely publicized on the web and social media; anyone with ill intention could have easily entered the farm and caused us harm. The second standard was seva service, which is essentially the expectation that retreat attendees would assist in cleaning the dining room area and dishes after meals. In my opinion, this was an insensitive oversight during the Juneteenth weekend, there were more than enough white staff and volunteers to assist with seva service during our 48-hour stay.
I ended up departing the retreat after only 24 hours on site. Not sleeping and eating well is not an option for someone living with Lupus. I couldn't engage with the group and partake in the majority of the retreat activities. I was disappointed I missed a reiki workshop, campfire circle, and a walking meditation in the morning with one of my favorite facilitators, Javier Cruz. I think it's important when planning retreats for BIPOC people that consideration and care are placed on the whole human experience. The mental health and spiritual aspects of this retreat were well thought out, but there seemed to be little thought placed on physical health and the collective trauma of our community. Many BIPOC people don’t take time to rest, properly nourish themselves, or unpack their trauma. As a result, we are predisposed to chronic illnesses. More care and consideration could have been placed on premium room and board accommodations to provide us with a physical respite. We deserve rest and ease.
I've recently been in talks with other wellness providers and holistic healers to plan retreats in 2023. Please sign up for the Ohmies Insights Newsletter to stay in the know on future holistic human healing experiences. In the meantime, enjoy this restorative yoga session I recorded at the Pumpkin Hollow Farms Meditation Center and please take care of yourselves and Be Well!!
